Posted on January 1, 1  •  2 minutes  • 319 words

My sister brought in a platypus which had heads on both sides of its body. I asked her where she got it and she told me that Doofenshmirtz is outside and he is doing awful experiments on animals. The platypus is actually Perry the Platypus but he was defeated by one of Doofenshmirtz’ experiments. It was now my duty to defeat him, she handed me Perry’s hat. Apparently the hat gives you super human abilities, but I couldn’t approach him wearing the hat because he would immediately recognise me as an agent and try to kill me. So I put my knife in my pocket and held the hat behind my back and walked out into my backyard. there were sea creatures everywhere, all in various states of deformity, some in tanks and some just lying on the floor. I walked up to Doofenshmirtz and asked him “watcha doin?” he replied with a monologue about how is he trying to recreate the moment that intelligent life crawled out of the oceans to prove one of his teachers wrong (they said evolution was a lie). I then stabbed him and made a big cut in his stomach - he would bleed out eventually so all I had to do now was stall. I knew he would attack me immediately after I did so I put the hat on and dodged almost instinctively. He had a giant metal fist and was trying to crush me but the hat gave me the dexterity to avoid all his attacks. We ended sparring up on top of a building but all I was doing was dodging and watching as he bled out and got weaker. Eventually he collapsed onto the ground. Major Monogram and Carl showed up and took his body away, they said “good job agent sam, trans rights!”. I went inside and returned the hat to perry, he made his signature sound.